The 7 Types of Rest We Actually Need:
 A Guide to Relaxation. Tips on How to Chill.

The Fatigue's Nocturnal Ballet.

 A heaviness descends upon my weary eyes. Ink-like darkness seeps forth from beyond the mountains. The sun dissolves into nothingness, and my driveway is immersed in an abyss of complete darkness precisely at 5:51 p.m.

 Lately, I have been plagued by an unrelenting weariness. It permeates my very being, reaching the depths of my bones. The need for rest consumes me, like a desire to be enveloped in silence, allowing tranquility to ripple through my entire being.

 Ah, those familiar and all-consuming sensations of being overwhelmed and utterly exhausted—a burden, mistakenly glorified in our society.

 

With an overloaded work schedule and an increasingly irritable disposition, I am acutely aware that something must give. The weight of my responsibilities, both at work and at home, has become too much to bear. Regrettably, this is not a sporadic occurrence, but rather a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior. Can you empathize?

I prefer to perceive this as an invitation rather than a challenge.

An invitation to achieve equilibrium. A reassessment of my everyday existence and habits. A thorough exploration of relaxation, expressing my necessities, and comprehending the significance behind it all.

  

Rest is something that eludes me.

  The majority of us have become adept at tending to others, accommodating their needs, predicting what our loved ones require, striving for success, performing admirably, taking action, and achieving our goals. This phenomenon is not a coincidence; it is because we have given priority to these aspects of our lives. More accurately, we have been taught to prioritize them. We have received praise and reinforcement for our productivity, for shouldering excessive burdens, and for successfully attaining our objectives.

 This behavior is viewed as positive, even extraordinary. We are encouraged to be like superwomen, capable of accomplishing everything. Consequently, we continue on this path, despite knowing deep down that it is unsustainable.

Particularly as women, we carry an "invisible workload" of domestic, professional, and caregiving responsibilities. We bear the weight of these duties on our shoulders day and night. Behind the scenes, we silently manage everything (often with a sense of resentment). We allow others to depend on us to the point of experiencing burnout and breakdowns.

 The perpetual state of fatigue in which we find ourselves is often dismissed as normal or acceptable. Yet, this is far from the truth.

 

Perhaps we could argue that we are simply not skilled in the art of relaxation. However, this statement falls short in capturing the essence of the issue. It is not merely an individual problem; rather, it is a systemic problem that demands contextualization for a better understanding. Our inability to rest stems from a lack of instruction, and instead, we have been encouraged to do the opposite.

 

Throughout the course of history, women have endured abuse, oppression, and unreasonable expectations that have spanned hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Our modern society continues to prioritize productivity at the expense of our physical and mental well-being. The addiction to busyness, work, and stress is prevalent, as is the burden of financial strain that many face today.

 

Even when we turn to the health and wellness industry in search of relief, we are pressured to strive for unattainable ideals: to be thinner, wealthier, more self-aware, happier, more energetic, more vibrant, and more flexible for yoga.

 

While goals can serve as important guiding forces, the relentless pursuit of these ideals is exhausting. It prevents us from fully immersing ourselves in the present moment and discovering our true selves, along with our genuine needs. (And let's be honest, these precious moments of introspection shouldn't come with an exorbitant price tag).

It is no wonder, then, that rest feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. It inherently contradicts the deeply ingrained patterns that have shaped our lives, despite their detrimental effects on our health.

With this in mind, I propose reframing rest as a beautiful act of rebellion, which, let's admit, adds an exhilarating touch to it all.

Shall we join forces in rebellion?

In my exploration of the concept of rest thus far, it is becoming crystal clear that my understanding of rest could be better. This realization is quite humbling. I am deconstructing numerous assumptions. I always believed that rest was a singular entity, likely encompassing a greater amount of sleep than I currently acquire. Occasionally declining social engagements (and subsequently experiencing a burning guilt). However, I have recently come to discover that there is far more intricacy to this notion.

In her comprehensive book, "Sacred Rest," Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith thoroughly delves into these concepts. Drawing upon her extensive research as a medical professional, she identifies seven distinct types of rest that are essential to human beings: physical, mental, emotional, creative, sensory, social, and spiritual.

Dr. Dalton-Smith asserts that true equilibrium and well-being can be achieved by nourishing ourselves with the specific form of rest that we require.

Therefore, if I find myself in need of emotional rest (a respite from empathizing with therapy clients; an outlet for my own emotions), believing that I can alleviate it by going to bed earlier will likely result in ongoing exhaustion, as what I truly desire is space to process and comprehend my emotions.

Rather than simply acknowledging fatigue and randomly attempting to identify my needs or resorting to numbing techniques to persevere, I now possess a means to be more precise. Having completed Dr. Dalton-Smith's rest assessment, I am aware that I must prioritize physical, emotional, and mental rest.

This newfound clarity brings unexpected delight. It allows me to fully enjoy several guilt-free hours of Netflix, knowing that I am granting respite to my mind. It encourages me to allocate more time to solitude and writing, enabling me to express my own emotions after spending the day with clients. Additionally, it serves as a reminder that despite my restless ADHD brain and body, it is not beneficial to engage in intense exercise constantly, and I must allocate time for recovery.

This is a process. I know that attaining balance cannot be achieved in a single day or even within a week, but I will continue striving. Thus far, this newfound awareness has facilitated improved communication of my needs to my partner and loved ones.

These alterations may appear insignificant, yet they possess great significance. I can perceive their impact as they reverberate within me, where I am vulnerable and weary.

I am prepared to soften. To envelop myself in a steaming bath and allow my body to rejuvenate.