Overcome emotional victimhood now.

OVERCOME EMOTIONAL VICTIMHOOD NOW

None of us fancies the notion of considering ourselves as individuals subjected to unfavorable circumstances. The label "victim" conjures an image of helplessness and vulnerability. Consequently, it comes as a surprising revelation to the majority of individuals when they realize how frequently they unknowingly assume the role of emotional victims. Having spent an extensive 35 years advising and assisting individuals, couples, families, and business partners, I possess an understanding that many of us are victims for a significant portion of our lives, often without recognizing it.

We become victims whenever we allow another person to dictate our worth and value. We become victims whenever we attribute our feelings of happiness and lovability to external sources such as approval, sex, material possessions, substances, or activities. We become victims whenever we place blame upon another individual for emotions such as fear, anger, hurt, loneliness, jealousy, disappointment, and similar sentiments. By defining ourselves externally, we relinquish power to others, thus surrendering control over our own choices.

By choosing to define ourselves internally through our spiritual connection and guidance, we tap into personal empowerment and accountability. The moment we genuinely express a desire to explore our inherent worth and discern what actions are in alignment with our highest good, seeking guidance from the divine becomes second nature. Most individuals fail to grasp just how effortlessly accessible answers are from a spiritual source. These answers may manifest as words, images, or emotional sensations, provided one possesses an earnest yearning to learn.

We perpetually find ourselves faced with two options: we can either pursue happiness, peace, safety, security, lovability, and worth through external entities such as people, possessions, activities, and substances, or we can cultivate a sense of joy, serenity, safety, security, lovability, and worth through a spiritual Source of love and compassion - nurturing ourselves and extending love to others.

Whenever we opt to seek our happiness and safety from others, we inadvertently create a need to exercise control over them in order to obtain what we desire. Consequently, when they fail to fulfill our expectations, we perceive ourselves as victims of their choices.

Let me provide you with an alternative rendition of the given text:

An illustration can be seen in the case of Don and Joyce, as they engage in an ongoing power struggle regarding their children. Joyce tends to adopt an authoritative approach, whereas Don is more permissive in his parenting style. Whenever Joyce becomes frustrated with Don's leniency, she frequently resorts to yelling at him, expressing her dissatisfaction. Don usually endures Joyce's tirades, patiently listening to her for extended periods, sometimes exceeding an hour. However, when he attempts to engage in a conversation with her, Joyce refuses to listen to him. Consequently, Don feels victimized, complaining about Joyce's propensity to yell at him and deny him the opportunity to be heard.

During a counseling session with Don, I inquired as to why he tolerates Joyce's yelling. He responded by saying that he hoped if he listened to her, she would reciprocate by listening to him. I asked him if she ever does listen to him during these conflicts, to which he replied, "No."

"Why do you require her to listen to you?" I asked.

"I want to justify my actions regarding our children to her," he explained.

"Why do you feel the need to justify it to her?"

"So she won't be angry with me."

In his attempt to control Joyce, Don permits himself to be subjected to her outbursts, as he yearns for her approval. Subsequently, he endeavors to explain his actions in an effort to regain control over how she perceives him. However, when she refuses to listen, Don feels victimized, blaming her for being an angry and domineering individual.

If Don were willing to take accountability for his self-approval through his connection with a Higher Power, he would refrain from listening to Joyce when she raised her voice at him. Instead, he would establish a boundary, declaring that he will only lend an ear to her when she communicates with respect and remains open to learning alongside him. However, as long as his sense of security and worth hinges on her approval, he will not set this limit. Until Don opens himself up to spiritual guidance for his sense of security and self-worth, rather than relying on Joyce for this role, he will remain a victim of her unloving behavior.

Assuming responsibility for our own emotions of self-worth and lovability through the cultivation of our spiritual connection allows us to extricate ourselves from the victim role, thereby granting us personal empowerment.